Improve Your Mood & Emotional Wellbeing
Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion means meeting your own mistakes, struggles and hard days with the same warmth and understanding you would give a good friend, instead of harsh self-judgement. It is a learnable skill, and this page shows simple practices, what research suggests they can and cannot do, and when it is time to ask for support.
General information, not medical advice. Last updated October 31, 2026. Written by the AlternativeMed editorial team. Not medically reviewed.
Start here
- Try the friend test: when you notice a harsh thought about yourself, ask what you would say to a friend in the same situation, then say a version of that to yourself.
- Use a three-part pause when something hurts: name it (this is a moment of suffering), remind yourself it is part of being human (other people feel this too), and offer yourself a kind phrase.
- Practise small and often, on mild stumbles first, so the skill is easier to reach on hard days.
Be careful with
- Self-compassion practices ask you to turn toward painful feelings. For some people that can stir up more anxiety, sadness or difficult memories, particularly with longer or more intense meditation. Go gently, and stop and get support if it becomes too much.
- Self-compassion is a skill that can sit beside professional care. It is not a replacement for it, and it is not a treatment for depression, anxiety or trauma.
- Herbs and supplements sold for mood are not a shortcut to self-kindness. Some, such as St John's wort, can interfere with many medicines.
Get help when
- Low mood on most days for more than two weeks, losing interest in things you usually enjoy, or feeling hopeless or worthless: see a doctor. The NHS advises seeing a GP if symptoms of depression last most of the day, every day, for more than two weeks.
- Any thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life need help now. In the United States you can call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline); in the UK and Ireland you can call Samaritans free on 116 123. Elsewhere, contact your local emergency number or crisis service.
- A self-critical voice that is constant, cruel, tied to past abuse or trauma, or that stops you from eating, working, sleeping or being with people: a therapist or doctor can help, and you do not have to manage it alone.
- Practices that repeatedly bring on panic, flashbacks, numbness or distress: pause them and talk to a health professional before continuing.
About Practice Self-Compassion
What this goal means
This goal is about how you speak to and treat yourself when you fail, struggle or feel inadequate. Researcher Kristin Neff describes self-compassion as three parts working together: self-kindness instead of self-judgement, a sense of common humanity instead of isolation, and a balanced, mindful awareness of pain instead of suppressing it or being swept away by it.
It is different from self-esteem, which is about how highly you rate yourself. Self-compassion does not depend on success or on feeling special; it is about how you respond when things go wrong.
1Common experiences
Many people notice an inner critic that replays mistakes, compares them with others, or says things they would never say to a friend. Others feel they must be hard on themselves to stay motivated, or feel awkward, selfish or embarrassed at the idea of being kind to themselves.
Feelings of shame, guilt or not being good enough after a setback are common human experiences. They become a problem for wellbeing when they are constant or severe.
1,2Why it may matter for wellbeing
A meta-analysis of 14 studies (20 samples) found that people with higher self-compassion tended to have fewer symptoms of psychological difficulty, with a large association (r = -0.54). A meta-analysis of 79 samples (16,416 people) found self-compassion linked with greater wellbeing (r = 0.47). These studies mostly measured people at one point in time, so they show a link, not that self-compassion causes the difference.
Trials that teach self-compassion add some support. A 2017 meta-analysis of 21 randomised trials (1,285 participants) found compassion-based programmes improved self-compassion, depression, anxiety, distress and wellbeing compared with control groups, although the studies were mostly small. A review of randomised trials found programmes lowered self-criticism by a medium amount.
3,4,5,6Related conditions and experiences
A harsh inner critic often travels with low mood, anxiety, burnout, perfectionism and the after-effects of trauma, and it can both feed and be fed by them. Self-compassion skills may help alongside care for those conditions, but they are not a way to diagnose or treat them.
If you are unsure whether what you feel is stress, burnout, anxiety or depression, the comparison guide linked below can help you describe it to a doctor.
2,7Realistic expectations
Self-compassion is a habit, not a switch. In programme studies people practised over weeks, for example the 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion course, and gains were measured after that time. Expect it to feel unfamiliar or forced at first.
Effects in studies are small to medium on average, quality is moderate, and results vary between people. Treat the practices as an experiment: keep what helps and drop what does not.
8,9,6Who this applies to
Anyone who is hard on themselves can try these skills: students, parents, carers, people at work, people living with illness or recovering from setbacks. Teenagers, older adults, people with a history of trauma and people with severe depression may need a guide or a professional rather than self-help alone.
10,7Getting support now
If you have thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, help is available at any time. In the United States, NIMH names the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988). In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans offer a free listening service on 116 123. Elsewhere, contact your local emergency number or crisis service.
For low mood that lasts, the NHS advises seeing a GP if symptoms of depression are present most of the day, every day, for more than two weeks.
11,12,7Related conditions and symptoms
Anxiety disorders → Panic attacks and panic disorder → Trauma-related stress and PTSD → Stress, anxiety, burnout and depression: how they differ → Burnout →
A manageable starting plan
An educational starting point, not a personal prescription. Adjust it to your own situation and any advice from your clinician.
Your first actions
- For one week, simply notice your self-critical thoughts and name them (that is the critic) without trying to change them.
- Each day, try one friend-test moment: say to yourself what you would say to a friend.
- Choose one mild stumble a day and do a 30-second self-compassion break.
Optional additions
- Write a kind letter to yourself about something you find hard to accept.
- Add a kind phrase to a daily anchor such as making tea or locking the door.
- Consider an 8-week group course with a trained teacher.
What to track
- How often the harsh voice shows up, and how strong it feels (0 to 10), once a day.
- Which practice you tried and what happened (kinder, no change, harder).
- Mood, sleep and interest in things, so you notice if things are getting worse.
When to reassess
Give the practices four to eight weeks, as in the programme studies. If self-criticism feels just as strong, or if practices make you feel worse, speak to a doctor or therapist rather than pushing on alone.
When to seek professional support
- See a doctor if low mood, loss of interest or hopelessness last more than two weeks.
- If you have any thoughts of harming yourself, contact a crisis line now (988 in the US, Samaritans 116 123 in the UK) or your local emergency number.
- Ask a therapist for help if your inner critic comes from past abuse or trauma, or if practices bring on panic, flashbacks or numbness.
What helps
Ordered by how well the research supports each step. Evidence strength is shown on every card; precautions sit next to the advice.
Start here
Notice and name the harsh voice
Low certaintyAddresses: Creates a little distance from self-criticism so you can choose a different response
Why it may help: Mindfulness is one of the three parts of self-compassion: seeing the thought or feeling clearly, without suppressing it or blowing it up. Naming it (for example, there is the critic again) is a simple way to start.
How to apply it: When you feel a wave of shame or self-blame, pause for a breath and say in your head what is happening: this is self-criticism, this is a hard moment. You are not trying to argue with it or get rid of it, just to notice it.
Who it may suit: Most adults who are hard on themselves; a good first step before any other practice.
Precautions: If noticing painful thoughts leaves you more distressed, stop, look around the room, breathe slowly and talk to someone you trust or a professional.
1,10The friend test
Low certaintyAddresses: Shifts the tone of self-talk from judging to supportive
Why it may help: Self-compassion is described as treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is struggling. The Self-Compassion Institute offers this as its first exercise. Programme studies teach this type of reframing as a core skill, but this exact exercise has not been tested alone.
How to apply it: Think of a time you were harsh with yourself. Ask what you would say to a close friend in the same situation, and in what tone. Write down or say those words, then address them to yourself. It is fine if it feels awkward the first few times.
Who it may suit: Anyone who finds it easier to be kind to others than to themselves.
Precautions: If you cannot imagine a kind friend, or the exercise brings up distress, try it with a trusted person or a therapist rather than alone.
13,5A short self-compassion break
Low certaintyAddresses: Gives you a quick, repeatable way to respond to a painful moment
Why it may help: This brief practice from Kristin Neff's work uses three steps, one for each element of self-compassion: acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering (mindfulness), remind yourself that suffering is part of life and you are not alone (common humanity), and offer a kind phrase such as 'may I be kind to myself'. Full programmes built from these ideas have shown benefits; the single short break has not been studied alone.
How to apply it: Bring a mildly stressful situation to mind. Say, silently or aloud, 'This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself.' Some people place a hand on the chest, or use another soothing touch that feels right. Use any wording that feels natural to you.
Who it may suit: People who like a short, structured practice, at home or at work.
Precautions: Start with mild stressors rather than your hardest memories. Physical touch or phrases that feel uncomfortable can be skipped.
14,8A kind letter to yourself
Low certaintyAddresses: Helps you put self-kindness into words about something you find hard to accept
Why it may help: A standard exercise in the self-compassion tradition: write about something that makes you feel inadequate, then write a letter to yourself from the point of view of a loving, accepting friend who sees your strengths and weaknesses and understands your life history.
How to apply it: Set aside 15 to 20 minutes somewhere private. Part one: describe the difficulty and how it feels, without exaggerating or pushing it away. Part two: write the letter. Read it over once and keep it somewhere you can find it on a harder day.
Who it may suit: People who think more clearly in writing; those who find spoken phrases awkward.
Precautions: Writing about very painful events can bring up strong emotions. Begin with something moderately difficult, and if you have a history of trauma, consider doing this with a therapist.
15,5Additional options
Use self-compassion to improve, not just to feel better
Low certaintyAddresses: Keeps your motivation to learn from mistakes without the sting of self-attack
Why it may help: In four laboratory experiments, people who were prompted to treat a personal weakness or failure with self-compassion showed more motivation to improve than people given a self-esteem comparison, studied longer after a failure on a test, and were more motivated to make amends after a moral lapse. These were short experiments, mostly in student settings, so real-life effects may differ.
How to apply it: After a mistake, ask two questions in a kind tone: what happened, and what would help me do better next time? Then choose one small next step.
Who it may suit: People who fear that being kind to themselves will make them lazy or complacent.
Precautions: Kindness is not the same as avoiding responsibility. If a mistake affected someone else, making amends is still part of the response.
16An 8-week group course such as Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC)
Low certaintyAddresses: Builds self-compassion, mindfulness and wellbeing with teacher support and practice
Why it may help: In a randomised trial, 25 adults who took the 8-week MSC workshop reported larger gains in self-compassion, mindfulness and wellbeing than 27 people on a waiting list, and gains were still present at 6 months and 1 year. The trial was small and the control group was a waiting list, not a different activity.
How to apply it: Look for a course led by a trained teacher, in person or online, that includes practice between sessions. Ask how the teacher handles strong emotions that come up.
Who it may suit: People who prefer a structured, supported route and can commit to weekly sessions.
Precautions: Cost varies. A course is not a substitute for therapy when you have depression, anxiety or trauma symptoms; check with a health professional if unsure.
8,6Treat setbacks with kindness when building healthy habits
Low certaintyAddresses: May make it easier to keep up healthy routines after a slip
Why it may help: In 15 samples (3,252 people), higher self-compassion was linked with more health-promoting behaviours (eating habits, exercise, sleep, stress management), a small association (average r = 0.25). A 2026 review of 19 studies found a similar positive link (r = 0.23) and a link with lower stress. These are survey findings, not proof that self-compassion causes the change.
How to apply it: When you miss a walk, a bedtime or a healthy meal, respond with something like, 'That was a hard week, what is the smallest step I can take today?' rather than 'I always fail'.
Who it may suit: Anyone who gives up on health goals after one slip.
Precautions: If a food, exercise or weight-related thought pattern feels driven or distressing, talk to a doctor or counsellor.
17,18Still being studied
Online or app-based self-compassion programmes
Low certaintyAddresses: May lower self-criticism, depression and stress, but evidence is thinner than for in-person courses
Why it may help: A 2023 meta-analysis of 56 randomised trials found self-compassion interventions had small to medium effects on depressive symptoms, anxiety and stress straight after the programme, and small effects on depressive symptoms and stress at follow-up. The authors rated overall risk of bias as high and noted that fewer studies tested online programmes.
How to apply it: If you try one, choose a programme with clear, named creators, no promises of a cure and a way to contact a person if something feels wrong.
Who it may suit: People who cannot reach in-person courses.
Precautions: Not designed for crisis. Do not use in place of care for depression, anxiety or trauma.
9,6Compassionate-mind and compassion-focused methods, such as soothing imagery
Low certaintyAddresses: Used in compassion-focused therapy for people with high shame and self-criticism
Why it may help: An early systematic review of 14 studies (3 randomised) found results mostly favourable to compassion-focused therapy, particularly for people high in self-criticism, but called for larger, higher-quality trials before it counts as evidence-based practice.
How to apply it: These methods are normally taught by a trained therapist. Self-help versions are less studied.
Who it may suit: People with strong shame or self-criticism who are working with a professional.
Precautions: Imagery and soothing exercises can bring up strong feelings for some people; they work best with professional guidance.
2,5Food & nutrition
Food and self-compassion
No food, drink or nutrient has been shown to build self-compassion. Beyond this, the research is about how you speak to yourself around food, not about the food itself.
In survey research, people with higher self-compassion more often reported health-promoting behaviours such as regular eating habits, activity and sleep. This is a link, not proof of cause, but it suggests that responding to an off-plan meal with understanding, rather than shame, may make it easier to return to your usual habits.
17,18If eating or body image is part of the self-criticism
If self-criticism is mostly about food, weight or body shape, or if you restrict, binge or purge, speak to a doctor or an eating-disorder specialist. This page cannot assess that, and kind self-talk is best added to professional support.
Remedies & supplements
Traditional use, laboratory findings and human trials are kept apart. "Natural" does not mean safe.
St John's wort and other herbs or supplements marketed for mood
Not enough evidenceStudied form and route: Herbal supplement (tablets, capsules, teas)
Intended outcome: Mood and depression symptoms; not tested for self-compassion
Human evidence: NCCIH says we know a fair amount about short-term effects on depression and less about long-term effects, and that it is not consistently effective. We did not find trials of herbs or supplements for self-compassion or self-criticism.
Traditional use: St John's wort has been used for centuries for mental health conditions and is widely prescribed for depression in Europe.
Limits: Self-compassion is a way of relating to yourself and does not come in a capsule. Products vary in strength and quality.
Interactions and precautions: St John's wort can weaken many prescription medicines (including antidepressants, birth control pills, cyclosporine, digoxin, oxycodone, some HIV and cancer medicines, and warfarin). Combined with certain antidepressants it can cause a potentially life-threatening rise in serotonin. It can also cause sensitivity to sunlight and may worsen anxiety in some people. NCCIH has little safety information for pregnancy, breastfeeding and children. Talk to a doctor or pharmacist before using it, and never stop a prescribed medicine yourself.
19Therapies & care
Self-compassion skills can be learned alone, in a course or with a therapist. If low mood, anxiety, trauma or intense self-criticism is affecting daily life, a doctor or therapist is the right place to start, and self-compassion can be part of that care.
Compassion-focused therapy (CFT)
Low certaintyPsychological therapy A therapy developed for people whose difficulties are linked to high shame and self-criticism. An early systematic review of 14 studies (3 randomised) found results mostly favourable, particularly for people high in self-criticism.
Who it may suit: People with strong shame and self-criticism who want professional guidance.
Precautions: Evidence is still early and the reviewers asked for larger trials. Ask a therapist about their training and approach.
2Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program
Low certaintyStructured 8-week group course A teacher-led workshop that trains mindfulness and self-compassion skills. In a small randomised trial it increased self-compassion, mindfulness and wellbeing compared with a waiting list, with gains at 6 months and 1 year.
Who it may suit: Adults who want to build the skill in a supported group; not a treatment for a mental health condition.
Precautions: Ask about the teacher's training and what support is available if difficult feelings arise.
8Talking therapy for anxiety, low mood and stress
Moderate certaintyProfessional care Therapists use approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy to help with unhelpful thoughts and self-criticism. Compassion-based skills are sometimes added.
Who it may suit: Anyone whose self-criticism comes with depression, anxiety or trauma symptoms, or who has tried self-help without enough relief.
Precautions: A GP, doctor or mental health service can help you find the right option. Never stop a prescribed medicine without talking to the prescriber.
20,2Mindfulness and meditation practices
Mixed findingsMind-body practice Many self-compassion programmes include mindfulness meditation. Benefits are reported, and so are adverse effects such as increased anxiety or low mood in some people.
Who it may suit: People who enjoy quiet, guided practice.
Precautions: A review of 83 studies found adverse events in 8.3% of participants overall. Start with short, guided sessions; if you have a trauma history or severe anxiety or depression, ask a professional before starting.
10What to avoid
Habits, products and claims that can get in the way. Never stop a prescribed medicine without talking to the professional who prescribed it.
Risks that apply to most people
Believing that harsh self-criticism keeps you motivated
Low certaintyWhy: Experiments found that people prompted to be self-compassionate about a failure were more, not less, motivated to improve than people in comparison groups. Self-compassion programmes also lowered self-criticism by a medium amount in trials.
Who it applies to: Perfectionists, high achievers, students and anyone who fears being 'soft' on themselves.
Try instead: Keep your standards, and change the tone: 'What would help me do better next time?'
16,6Pushing through distressing practices alone
Moderate certaintyWhy: A systematic review of 83 meditation studies (6,703 people) found adverse events, mostly anxiety, depression and changes in thinking, in 8.3% overall, more often in observational studies, and the problems could happen in people with no previous mental health problems. Self-compassion practices are often taught with meditation.
Who it applies to: Anyone doing intense, long or unguided practices; people with a history of trauma, severe anxiety or depression.
Try instead: Start short and mild, stop if you feel worse, and talk to a health professional about adjusting or pausing.
10Replacing professional care with self-help
Moderate certaintyWhy: Self-compassion trials add something to wellbeing and distress scores, but they do not make a case for stopping or delaying care. The NHS advises seeing a GP when depression symptoms last most of the day, every day, for more than two weeks. Never stop or change a prescribed medicine because of anything you read here.
Who it applies to: Anyone with persistent low mood, anxiety, trauma symptoms or thoughts of self-harm.
Try instead: Use self-compassion alongside care, and talk to your doctor or therapist about it.
7,9Personal triggers to check
Using kind phrases to push feelings away
Low certaintyWhy: The mindfulness part of self-compassion is about turning toward pain with acceptance, neither suppressing nor exaggerating it. Repeating a phrase just to avoid a feeling misses that step.
Who it applies to: People who want to feel better quickly, or who are used to staying busy to avoid feelings.
Try instead: Acknowledge the feeling first (this hurts), then add the kind phrase.
1Practising when the memory or feeling is at its most raw
Moderate certaintyWhy: Practices ask you to turn toward painful feelings, and a review of meditation harms found anxiety and low mood were the most commonly reported problems.
Who it applies to: Recent loss or trauma, panic, strong flashbacks or overwhelming grief.
Try instead: Begin with small irritations or mild stumbles, and bring bigger hurts to a therapist or support person.
10Products that need caution
Apps and courses that promise to fix low self-worth or heal trauma
Low certaintyWhy: Evidence for online programmes exists but is limited, and reviewers rated overall risk of bias as high. No self-compassion programme has been shown to cure depression or trauma.
Who it applies to: Anyone paying for a subscription or course.
Try instead: Choose a programme that is clear about what it can and cannot do, and does not replace seeing a professional.
9,6Herbs and supplements sold as 'mood boosters', including St John's wort
Moderate certaintyWhy: NCCIH says St John's wort is not consistently effective for depression and can weaken many prescription medicines, including antidepressants, birth control pills, some heart, transplant, HIV and cancer medicines, and warfarin. Combined with certain antidepressants it can cause a potentially life-threatening rise in serotonin. NCCIH says not to use it in place of conventional care.
Who it applies to: Anyone taking any prescription medicine, pregnant or breastfeeding people, and anyone with low mood.
Try instead: Speak to a doctor or pharmacist before any herbal product for mood, and do not stop a prescribed medicine on your own.
19Unsupported claims
"Self-compassion is just self-indulgence or lowering your standards"
Low certaintyWhy: In four experiments, self-compassion increased motivation to improve and to make amends compared with comparison conditions.
Who it applies to: Social media, workplaces and families that value toughness.
Try instead: Think of self-compassion as support for growth, not as an excuse.
16"Self-compassion treats depression and anxiety"
Low certaintyWhy: Trials show small to medium reductions in depressive symptoms, anxiety and stress on average, but quality was limited and risk of bias was rated high overall. These are symptom scores, not treatment for a diagnosed condition.
Who it applies to: Marketing for books, apps and courses.
Try instead: Treat self-compassion as a helpful skill alongside proper care.
9,5"Natural products can replace therapy or medicine"
Moderate certaintyWhy: NCCIH advises against using St John's wort in place of conventional care or postponing seeing a health care provider about a mental health problem.
Who it applies to: Supplement ads and online forums.
Try instead: Ask a doctor or pharmacist about any herb or supplement.
19Common mistakes
Expecting warm feelings straight away
Low certaintyWhy: Programme studies measured change over weeks, not minutes. The practices can feel awkward or even unpleasant at first.
Who it applies to: Anyone starting out.
Try instead: Judge progress over weeks. Keep it short, and count the attempt, not the feeling.
8,9Practising only when things are very hard
Not enough evidenceWhy: Skills are easier to reach if you have used them on small things. Programmes build practice over many weeks.
Who it applies to: People who try a practice once in a crisis and then give up.
Try instead: Practise on mild stumbles such as a late bus or a small mistake at work.
Using self-compassion to dodge accountability
Low certaintyWhy: Experiments found self-compassion increased motivation to make amends after a moral lapse. If someone else was affected, an apology or repair is still part of a kind response.
Who it applies to: Anyone who has hurt or let down another person.
Try instead: Be honest about what happened, be kind in how you say it to yourself, and take a concrete step to put it right.
16Evidence & safety
What the research shows
Research links higher self-compassion with better wellbeing and fewer psychological difficulties, and trials of teaching programmes show small to medium improvements in self-criticism, depression, anxiety and stress compared with control groups. Quality is limited: many studies are small, use waiting-list controls and were rated at moderate to high risk of bias, and most links come from surveys rather than trials. Self-compassion is best seen as a promising, low-risk skill to try alongside, not instead of, professional care, with some risk of distress from practices that turn toward pain.
Limits of the evidence
- Large associations between self-compassion and wellbeing come from surveys, which cannot show cause and effect.
- A meta-analysis of 56 trials rated the overall risk of bias as high; the 2017 meta-analysis noted small sample sizes; the self-criticism review rated studies as moderate quality with high heterogeneity.
- Few trials compared self-compassion with active alternatives, and few tested online versions or people already in distress.
- The specific short exercises (friend test, break, letter) are taken from programme teaching and have not each been tested alone.
Precautions and interactions
- Practices that turn toward pain can increase distress for some people; start gently and stop if it is too much.
- Self-compassion is not a treatment for depression, anxiety, trauma or eating disorders.
- Never stop or change a prescribed medicine because of self-help or supplements.
- St John's wort and similar herbs can interact with many medicines. Check with a pharmacist first.
Life-stage considerations
- Pregnancy and breastfeeding: low mood and anxiety are common and deserve care. Talk to a midwife or doctor about any herb or supplement, as safety information for St John's wort in pregnancy is limited.
- Children and teenagers: kind self-talk can be modelled and taught, but a young person with low mood or self-harm thoughts should see a doctor or school or youth mental health service.
- Older adults: more likely to take several medicines, so check interactions before any herb or supplement; low mood is not a normal part of ageing and can be treated.
- People with chronic illness or caring responsibilities: self-criticism about what you cannot do is common; these skills can help, but talk to your care team if mood is low.
Warning signs
- Low mood on most days for more than two weeks, or losing interest in things you usually enjoy.
- Feeling hopeless, worthless or like a burden.
- Any thoughts of self-harm or ending your life (call or text 988 in the US; Samaritans 116 123 in the UK; local emergency services elsewhere).
- Panic, flashbacks, numbness or feeling unreal when practising.
- Not eating, not sleeping or not coping with daily tasks because of self-criticism.
Claim checks
Being kind to yourself makes you complacent
Low certaintyFour experiments found the opposite: self-compassion increased motivation to improve and to make amends. These were short laboratory studies, so long-term real-life effects are less certain.
16Self-compassion programmes reduce self-criticism
Moderate certaintyA meta-analysis of 20 randomised trials (19 analysed, 1,350 people) found a medium reduction (g = 0.51), with moderate study quality and high heterogeneity.
6Self-compassion cures depression and anxiety
Low certaintyTrials show small to medium symptom reductions on average, with high overall risk of bias. They do not show a cure. See a doctor if symptoms persist.
9,5Mindfulness and compassion practices are completely safe
Moderate certaintyA review of 83 studies found adverse events in 8.3% of participants overall, most often anxiety, depression and changes in thinking, including in people with no previous mental health problems.
10St John's wort is a natural, safe way to lift mood
Moderate certaintyNCCIH says it is not consistently effective for depression and can weaken many prescription medicines; combined with certain antidepressants it can cause a potentially life-threatening rise in serotonin.
19Questions people ask
What is self-compassion?
It is treating yourself with kindness and understanding when you struggle or fail, rather than harsh judgement. Researcher Kristin Neff describes three parts: self-kindness, a sense of common humanity (you are not the only one who struggles), and mindfulness (noticing painful feelings without suppressing or exaggerating them).
Is self-compassion the same as self-esteem?
No. Self-esteem is about how highly you value yourself and often depends on success or comparison. Self-compassion is about how you treat yourself when things go wrong. In one set of experiments, self-compassion increased motivation to improve compared with a self-esteem comparison.
Will being kind to myself make me lazy?
The research suggests the opposite. In four experiments, people prompted to be self-compassionate were more motivated to improve a weakness, studied longer after a failure and were more motivated to make amends. These were short studies, so treat them as encouraging rather than final.
What is the simplest way to start?
The friend test: when you are hard on yourself, ask what you would say to a friend in the same situation, and say something similar to yourself. Another option is the self-compassion break: 'This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself.'
How long until it works?
Programmes in studies lasted weeks, such as the 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion course, and results were measured afterwards. Expect gradual change, and expect it to feel strange at first. If nothing shifts after a month or two, or things get worse, speak to a professional.
Does self-compassion help with depression or anxiety?
A meta-analysis of 56 randomised trials found small to medium reductions in depressive symptoms, anxiety and stress after self-compassion programmes, but the overall risk of bias was high. It is a helpful skill alongside care, not a replacement. If low mood lasts more than two weeks, see a doctor.
Can these practices make me feel worse?
They can for some people. Practices that turn toward pain may bring up anxiety, sadness or difficult memories, and a review of meditation studies found adverse events in 8.3% of participants. Go slowly, start with mild situations, and stop and seek support if it becomes too much.
I find it hard to be kind to myself. Is something wrong with me?
No. Many people find it feels awkward, undeserved or even unsafe at first, especially if they grew up with criticism. Start small, use a friend's perspective, and consider a teacher or therapist if it is hard to do alone. Compassion-focused therapy was developed for people with high shame and self-criticism.
Can a supplement or herb help me be kinder to myself?
We found no evidence that any herb or supplement builds self-compassion. St John's wort, sold for mood, is not consistently effective for depression according to NCCIH, and can weaken many medicines. Always check with a doctor or pharmacist first.
When should I get professional help?
See a doctor if low mood lasts most of the day, every day, for more than two weeks, if you lose interest in things, or if self-criticism is severe or linked to trauma. If you have any thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988 (US), call Samaritans on 116 123 (UK), or contact local emergency services right away.
Is self-compassion the same as letting myself off the hook?
No. It means being honest about what happened and kind in how you respond. In experiments, self-compassion increased motivation to make amends after a moral lapse. It supports taking responsibility rather than avoiding it.
References
- Self-Compassion Institute (Kristin Neff). The three elements of self-compassion. Read 2026-10-31. source
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Understand & Manage Your Emotions → Support a More Balanced Mood → Build Emotional Resilience → Cope With Difficult Life Changes → Rebuild Motivation → Feel More Connected to Others → Reduce Loneliness → Calm a Busy Mind → Build Resilience to Stress →
Ingredients, foods and supplements
Research, safety and claim-check resources
Meditation → Mindfulness and meditation for stress → Therapy for anxiety and stress → Stress and anxiety: safety and when to get help → Medicine interactions → Fatigue from medicines, mood and other conditions →