Improve Your Mood & Emotional Wellbeing

Cope With Difficult Life Changes

A big change, such as a death, a breakup, a move or losing a job, can shake your mood, sleep and sense of who you are, and that is a normal human response. This page explains what tends to help you adjust, what to be careful with, and when it is time to ask for help.

General information, not medical advice. Last updated October 31, 2026. Written by the AlternativeMed editorial team. Not medically reviewed.

Start here

Let the feelings be there. Sadness, anger, guilt, numbness and tiredness are common after a loss, there is no right or wrong way to feel, and the strongest feelings tend to ease gradually. Tell one person you trust how you are really doing.
Keep the basics steady: regular meals, some movement most days, and a simple daily routine. Set small targets you can actually meet rather than trying to do everything at once.
Give yourself breaks from the pain as well as time with it. Spend some time on practical tasks and ordinary life, and some time with the loss, and know that moving between the two is normal. If low mood lasts two weeks or more, or things are not getting easier, speak to a doctor.

Be careful with

Grief and adjustment do not run to a timetable or fixed stages. Comparing yourself with other people, or with a list of steps, can make you feel you are doing it wrong when you are not.
Alcohol, cigarettes, gambling and drugs are not a way through. The NHS says they can all contribute to poor mental health. Be especially careful with St John's wort or any herb if you take other medicines, because it interacts with many of them.
Do not stop or change a prescribed medicine on your own. Herbs and supplements are not a substitute for professional care if your mood is low, your grief is not easing, or you are struggling to function.

Get help when

Low mood that has lasted two weeks or more, loss of interest or enjoyment in life, hopelessness or trouble concentrating. The NHS says to see a GP if you have had a low mood for more than 2 weeks or the things you are trying are not helping.
Grief after a death that is not getting any easier as months pass, constant preoccupation with the person, being unable to accept the death, or not being able to return to everyday activities. The NHS describes this as prolonged grief disorder and says to see a GP, especially if the death was traumatic, sudden or unexpected.
Feelings that are increasingly depressed or anxious, panic, or intrusive memories after a frightening or traumatic event. See the anxiety, panic and trauma pages linked below and speak to a clinician.
Any thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life: reach out now, do not wait. In the UK the NHS lists Samaritans on 116 123, and you can use 111 (mental health option) or ask for an urgent GP appointment; call 999 or go to A&E if your life or someone else's is at risk. In the US the NIMH names the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) and says to call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room in life-threatening situations.

About Cope With Difficult Life Changes

What this goal means

This goal is about getting through a life change that feels hard: the death of someone close, the end of a relationship, losing a job or home, moving, retiring, becoming a carer, or a health change in you or someone you love. The NHS notes that grief is a natural response to loss and can follow more than a bereavement: the end of a relationship, losing a job, moving to a new place, or someone close becoming seriously ill.

The NHS also points out that even a positive or expected change, such as moving home or having a baby, can be hard to deal with, and that the stress this causes usually lasts only a short time.

^1,2

What it can feel like

The NHS lists shock and numbness, overwhelming sadness with lots of crying, tiredness or exhaustion, anger, and guilt as common signs of grief. Powerful feelings can appear unexpectedly, and they may not be there all the time. After other changes you might also feel anxious, unsettled, lost or unsure who you are now.

Many people notice the change in sleep, concentration and energy before they notice the change in mood, so it can be hard to tell that loss is the reason you are acting or feeling differently.

^1,3

What shapes how hard it feels

The NHS says our genes, life experiences, upbringing and environment all influence how we respond, as do how well other parts of life are going and how supported we feel. Research on bereavement finds that the circumstances of the death, personal and relationship factors and ways of coping all play a part, and that a traumatic or sudden and unexpected death raises the chance of longer-lasting problems.

Support matters. A large meta-analysis of 148 studies found that people with stronger social relationships had a 50% greater likelihood of survival than those with weaker ones, which is one reason health services encourage staying connected during hard times. This is an association across populations, not proof that any one friendship protects any one person.

^4,5,1,6

Grief, adjustment difficulties and depression

Most people find their feelings gradually become less intense with time and most adjust without professional treatment. A review in The Lancet describes grief as not a disease, while noting that bereavement is linked with a higher risk of illness and, early on, mortality, and that a few people develop depression, anxiety or complications in grieving.

A pooled estimate from one meta-analysis of 14 studies put prolonged grief disorder at about 9.8% of bereaved adults (roughly one in ten), though the studies differed a lot and the authors say to read the figure cautiously. A later review of the condition gives a similar figure of approximately 10%. Adjustment disorder is the term professionals use when stress after a change is out of proportion or interferes with daily life; a review of studies found it is generally milder and shorter than other disorders but not always, so persistent problems deserve an assessment. Only a clinician can tell which of these applies to you.

^5,7,8,9

Realistic expectations

A review of the research on loss argues that resilience, meaning only minor and temporary disruption to functioning, is more common than many people assume, and that there are several different routes through. That means it is also normal to feel less shattered than you think you "should". Both a strong reaction and a quieter one can be healthy.

Expect good days and bad days, and expect waves to return around anniversaries, reminders and new changes. Self-help can ease the load, but it does not remove the loss. Treat gradual, uneven improvement as the realistic aim, not feeling "over it" by a set date.

^10,1

Who this applies to

Anyone going through a significant change: bereavement, divorce or separation, redundancy or career change, a house move or emigration, retirement, a new caring role, or a serious diagnosis. Pregnancy loss and the death of a child can be especially devastating, and the NHS Every Mind Matters site points to specialist support for these. People who are older, who live alone, who have had previous depression or trauma, or who have several changes at once may need extra support.

This page covers the human response to change. Related goals have their own scope: see Practice Self-Compassion, Understand & Manage Your Emotions, Build Emotional Resilience, Reduce Loneliness and Feel More Connected to Others rather than repeating them here.

^2,11

Related conditions and symptoms

Anxiety disorders → Panic attacks and panic disorder → Trauma-related stress and PTSD → Stress, anxiety, burnout and depression: how they differ →

A manageable starting plan

An educational starting point, not a personal prescription. Adjust it to your own situation and any advice from your clinician.

Your first actions

Pick one person to talk to this week and tell them how you are really doing.
Keep a minimal daily routine: regular meals, a walk, a set time to get up and go to bed.
Choose one to three small targets a day and do them even if you do not feel like it.
Plan some time with the change (remembering, feeling) and some time away from it each day.

Optional additions

Try 5 to 10 minutes a day of guided mindfulness or slow breathing.
Look up a support group, a bereavement charity or an online programme from a recognised organisation.
Add something you used to enjoy once a week, however small.

What to track

How many days in the week are better than the one before, and what helped.
Sleep, appetite and energy.
Alcohol, caffeine and any new herb or supplement.
How long low mood has lasted: count the days.

When to reassess

Check in with yourself after two weeks and again at about six to eight weeks. The NHS says low mood after a bereavement should ease gradually. If low mood has lasted two weeks or more, if things are getting worse, or if grief after a death is not easing months later, speak to a doctor. If you are in distress or have thoughts of harming yourself, get help now rather than waiting for a review.

When to seek professional support

See a GP if you have had low mood for more than two weeks, if you are struggling to cope, or if the things you are trying are not helping.
In England, adults can refer themselves to NHS talking therapies. Bereavement charities such as Cruse offer support after a death.
In a crisis: UK, call 111 (mental health option), Samaritans on 116 123, or 999 for immediate danger; US, call or text 988, or call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if life is at risk.

What helps

Ordered by how well the research supports each step. Evidence strength is shown on every card; precautions sit next to the advice.

Start here

Talk about it with someone you trust

Low certainty

Addresses: Eases the sense of being alone with the change and can help you feel understood

Why it may help: The NHS advises talking about your feelings to a friend, family member, healthcare professional or counsellor, and says to try not to tell yourself you are alone, because most people feel grief after a loss and support is available. A large meta-analysis links stronger social relationships with better survival, although that is a population-level association rather than a test of a particular conversation.

How to apply it: Choose one person who listens without trying to fix it. Say what is hardest right now. Short, regular contact (a weekly call or walk) often works better than one big conversation. If talking to friends feels hard, a counsellor or a bereavement charity is another route.

Who it may suit: Almost everyone going through a loss or change.

Precautions: Not everyone finds it easy to talk early on; you can start with a few minutes. If talking leaves you more distressed over several weeks, that is a reason to see a professional.

^1,3,6

Reduce Loneliness → Feel More Connected to Others →

Move between facing the change and taking a break from it

Low certainty

Addresses: Lets you grieve without being swamped, and keeps daily life going

Why it may help: The dual process model, a widely cited research model of bereavement, describes two kinds of stress, loss-oriented (missing the person, the sadness) and restoration-oriented (new roles, money, home, routine), and proposes that healthy coping means moving back and forth between them, including taking respite from grief. The model has been influential, but it is a framework rather than a tested treatment.

How to apply it: Allow yourself some time each day to feel and remember (a photo, a letter, a walk). Then deliberately turn to a practical task or something ordinary: laundry, a meal, a call. Notice that stepping away is part of coping, not avoidance or disloyalty.

Who it may suit: People who feel either buried in the loss or numb and busy.

Precautions: If you are always avoiding, or always overwhelmed, with no break either way, ask for support.

^12,1

Set small targets and keep a simple routine

Low certainty

Addresses: Rebuilds a sense of control and keeps energy and sleep steadier

Why it may help: The NHS advises setting small targets you can easily achieve rather than doing everything at once, and focusing your time and energy on helping yourself feel better rather than on what you cannot change. Behavioural activation, which means planning small, rewarding or meaningful activities, is a well-studied approach for depression: a meta-analysis of 105 trials found a meaningful benefit, including in self-guided formats. That evidence is for depression, not for ordinary adjustment, so treat it as supportive rather than direct.

How to apply it: Each morning pick one to three small things (a shower, a short walk, one email, one meal with someone). Do them whether or not you feel like it. Add one thing you used to enjoy once a week.

Who it may suit: Anyone whose days have lost their shape: after a death, redundancy, a breakup or a move.

Precautions: Do not set yourself targets so large that missing them feels like failure. If you cannot manage even small tasks for two weeks or more, see a doctor.

^1,3,13

Rebuild Motivation →

Move your body most days

Low certainty

Addresses: May lift mood and help sleep

Why it may help: The NHS says regular exercise can improve mood and may help you sleep better. A Cochrane review of 73 trials in people with depression found exercise may reduce depressive symptoms (low-certainty evidence), and probably makes little difference compared with psychological therapy. These trials were in people with depression, not specifically in people adjusting to a loss.

How to apply it: A daily walk, ideally outdoors, is enough to start. Add something you enjoy or do with someone, such as a class or a walking partner. Build gradually.

Who it may suit: Most adults.

Precautions: Check with a clinician before starting if you have a heart or other health condition, or have been inactive for a long time. Do not use exercise to avoid feelings entirely.

^1,3,14

Yoga → Tai chi →

Additional options

Peer support or a support group

Low certainty

Addresses: Connects you with people who have been through something similar

Why it may help: The NHS suggests considering peer support, where people use their experiences to help each other. A 2026 systematic review of 169 randomised trials in bereaved people found low-strength evidence that expert-facilitated support groups may improve depression symptoms, and found conflicting or insufficient results for peer support and several other approaches.

How to apply it: Ask your GP, a hospice or bereavement charity, a faith or community group, or an employer's support programme what is available locally or online. Try two or three sessions before deciding.

Who it may suit: People who feel nobody around them understands, or who have lost touch with their usual circle.

Precautions: Quality varies; choose groups that are moderated or run by a recognised organisation. Leave any group that leaves you feeling worse.

^1,15

Feel More Connected to Others →

Mindfulness and meditation

Moderate certainty

Addresses: May reduce anxiety and low mood while you adjust

Why it may help: The NHS lists trying mindfulness techniques, where you focus on the present moment, among things that may help with low mood. A review of 47 trials found moderate evidence that mindfulness meditation programmes improved anxiety and depression, with small to moderate effects.

How to apply it: Start with 5 to 10 minutes a day using a guided recording, and notice the mind wandering to the loss or the future without judging it. Gentle breathing practice can be a way in.

Who it may suit: People who feel flooded by worry or low mood.

Precautions: Some people find sitting quietly with painful feelings difficult; stop or change the practice if it makes things worse, and choose a trained teacher if you have a history of trauma.

^3,16

Meditation → Mindfulness and meditation for stress → Breathing exercises for stress →

Guided online grief programmes

Low certainty

Addresses: May ease grief, anxiety and low mood when in-person help is hard to reach

Why it may help: A meta-analysis of web-based grief interventions in bereaved adults reported small to moderate improvements in grief, anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress after the programme. The authors rated trial quality with the Cochrane tool, and the 2026 systematic review above found mixed results for self-help interventions overall.

How to apply it: Look for programmes run by a recognised charity, health service or university. Some include contact with a trained person, which tends to be safer than a wholly self-run approach.

Who it may suit: People who cannot get to appointments or prefer privacy.

Precautions: Online programmes are not a replacement for urgent help. See a doctor if you feel hopeless, cannot function, or have thoughts of self-harm.

^17,15

Still being studied

Writing about the change (expressive writing or journaling)

Mixed findings

Addresses: Meant to help make sense of what happened

Why it may help: A meta-analysis of 146 randomised studies of writing about personal topics found a small average benefit (r = .075). However, a randomised trial in adults who had recently separated found that expressive writing led to worse emotional outcomes up to nine months later in people already searching for meaning, compared with neutral writing. The 2026 bereavement review rated writing therapy results as conflicting or insufficient.

How to apply it: If you try it, keep sessions short, write about what happened and what you might do next rather than only the pain, and stop if you feel worse.

Who it may suit: People who like writing; not a first-line approach.

Precautions: Writing only about distress, over and over, may not help and sometimes seems to prolong it. Not recommended as a substitute for support.

^18,19,15

Music, art and other creative therapies for loss

Not enough evidence

Addresses: Offer a way to express feelings that are hard to put into words

Why it may help: Music, art and writing therapies were among the approaches in the 2026 systematic review of bereavement trials; the authors found that most interventions other than individual psychotherapy showed conflicting results, no benefit, or insufficient evidence. Many people value creative activity, but its effect on grief has not been shown reliably.

How to apply it: Choose creative activities because you enjoy them, not as a treatment.

Who it may suit: People who find words hard.

Precautions: Do not rely on them if your grief is not easing; seek professional support.

¹⁵

Food & nutrition

Regular meals and steady energy

The NHS advice for grief and for low mood is to eat a healthy diet with regular meals to keep energy levels stable. This is general advice from a health service for people who are struggling, and it is not a proven treatment for grief. Tiredness and exhaustion are common after a loss, so predictable meals can take one decision out of a hard day.

Try to eat something at regular times even if appetite is low.
Keep easy foods in the house for days when cooking is too much.
Accept offers of meals from friends or neighbours.

^1,3

Alcohol and other substances

The NHS says to try not to use alcohol to relieve grief or low mood, because it can contribute to poor mental health. If you notice you are drinking more since the change, that is a good reason to talk to a GP or support service.

Notice whether drinks are being used to switch off feelings.
Choose a non-alcoholic drink for the times you usually reach for one.

^1,3,4

No food or supplement treats grief

We found no reliable evidence that any particular food, vitamin or supplement treats grief or adjustment to loss. In the 2026 systematic review of bereavement trials, the interventions with the strongest support were psychological ones, not dietary ones.

For general food guidance see the energy and hydration goal pages.

¹⁵

Remedies & supplements

Traditional use, laboratory findings and human trials are kept apart. "Natural" does not mean safe.

St John's wort

Moderate certainty

Studied form and route: Standardised herbal extract (capsules or tablets)

Intended outcome: Mild to moderate depression (not grief or adjustment itself)

Human evidence: The NCCIH says St John's wort appears more effective than placebo and as effective as standard antidepressant medicines for mild or moderate depression. A Cochrane review of 29 trials (5,489 people with major depression) found that the extracts tested were superior to placebo and similar to standard antidepressants, with fewer dropouts due to side effects, but trials from German-speaking countries reported more favourable findings and results varied a lot between trials.

Traditional use: Used historically for a variety of conditions, including depression, stomach ulcers, colds and wound healing; NCCIH says it is now most widely promoted for symptoms of depression.

Limits: These trials were in people with diagnosed depression, not in people adjusting to a loss or a life change, so they do not show that it helps normal grief. Products differ in content and quality.

Interactions and precautions: The NCCIH says it can interact dangerously with many medicines, including some antidepressants, birth control pills, blood thinners (warfarin), some statins, and medicines taken after transplants; with serotonin-affecting drugs it may raise the risk of serious serotonin-related side effects. It may be unsafe in pregnancy, and breastfeeding infants can have colic, drowsiness and lethargy. Other side effects include diarrhoea, dizziness, trouble sleeping, restlessness and skin tingling, and large doses may cause severe skin reactions after sun exposure. Depression can be a serious illness: see a health care provider. Do not use it instead of professional care.

^20,21

St. John's wort → Medication interactions →

Therapies & care

A GP is the first stop if low mood lasts two weeks or more, if grief is not easing, or if you are struggling to cope. In England, adults can refer themselves to NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression, and the NHS names Cruse Bereavement Support among organisations that help after a death. The treatments below are described in general terms; a clinician decides what suits you. This page does not recommend any medicine, and you should never stop a prescribed medicine without speaking to your prescriber.

Talking with a counsellor or therapist about the loss

Moderate certainty

Talking therapy A 2019 meta-analysis of 31 randomised trials found that psychological interventions reduce grief symptoms in bereaved adults (g = 0.41 after treatment), with larger effects for individual rather than group delivery, and for people with high symptoms or at least 6 months after the loss. A 2026 systematic review of 169 trials found moderate-strength evidence that individual psychotherapy improves grief disorder, grief and depression symptoms.

Who it may suit: Bereaved adults whose grief is intense, is not easing, or is affecting daily life; also useful for people adjusting after a breakup or other loss who want to talk to a professional.

Precautions: Waiting lists vary; ask about online options. Results were stronger for people with higher symptom levels, so it is less clear that everyone benefits equally.

^22,15,1

Therapy for anxiety and stress →

Grief-focused treatment for prolonged grief

Moderate certainty

Specialised talking therapy In a randomised trial of 95 adults with complicated (prolonged) grief, a 16-session complicated grief treatment gave a 51% response rate versus 28% for standard interpersonal psychotherapy. A 2021 review lists such psychotherapies as the evidence-based approach, with roughly 10% of bereaved people developing prolonged grief.

Who it may suit: People whose grief after a death has stayed intense for many months and who are struggling to return to everyday life.

Precautions: Needs a trained therapist, usually accessed via a GP or specialist service. The trial was a single study in one setting.

^23,8,1

Cognitive behavioural therapy for adjustment difficulties and low mood

Moderate certainty

Talking therapy A 2025 meta-analysis of 16 randomised trials (3,027 participants) of treatments for adjustment disorder found that both internet-based and in-person cognitive behavioural therapy may be effective. Behavioural activation, a related approach that focuses on activity planning, is effective for depression in 105 trials, including when self-guided.

Who it may suit: People whose stress after a change is out of proportion, long-lasting or affecting work, relationships or sleep.

Precautions: The authors note more trials are needed for other treatments. A clinician can assess whether adjustment disorder, depression or something else fits.

^24,13,3

Therapy for anxiety and stress →

Expert-led bereavement support groups

Low certainty

Group support The 2026 systematic review found low-strength evidence that expert-facilitated support groups may improve depression symptoms in bereaved people.

Who it may suit: People who would rather share with others in the same situation than one-to-one.

Precautions: Quality differs between groups. Look for facilitated groups from recognised charities, hospices or health services.

^15,1

What to avoid

Habits, products and claims that can get in the way. Never stop a prescribed medicine without talking to the professional who prescribed it.

Risks that apply to most people

Measuring yourself against a timetable

Moderate certainty

Why: The NHS says grief may not follow set stages in any order, and the feelings will eventually become less intense over time. A review of bereavement research finds most people adjust without professional intervention, but the pace and shape differ greatly.

Who it applies to: Anyone who thinks they should be over it by now.

Try instead: Judge progress over weeks and months by whether the hardest days are getting a little less frequent or intense, not by a deadline.

^1,5

Trying to do everything at once

Low certainty

Why: The NHS advises not trying to do everything at once and setting small, achievable targets instead.

Who it applies to: People with a long list of practical jobs after a death, a move or a job loss.

Try instead: List the jobs, choose the one or two that matter this week, and ask for help with the rest.

^1,3

Feel Less Overwhelmed →

Personal triggers to check

Using alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to numb the pain

Low certainty

Why: The NHS says to try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve grief or a low mood, because these can all contribute to poor mental health. The NHS Every Mind Matters site describes a vicious circle in which these behaviours and poor mental health feed each other.

Who it applies to: Anyone, especially people whose drinking has increased since the change.

Try instead: Try a short walk, a call, a hot drink or a breathing exercise first, and talk to a GP if you are relying on substances to cope.

^1,3,4

Caffeine, alcohol and sleep →

Withdrawing from people

Low certainty

Why: The NHS says to try not to tell yourself you are alone, because most people feel grief after a loss. A large meta-analysis links weaker social relationships with a higher risk of dying earlier, though it cannot prove cause in an individual.

Who it applies to: People who live alone, who have lost a partner, or who are embarrassed to ask for help.

Try instead: Keep small, low-pressure contacts: a text, a short visit, a shared walk.

^1,6

Reduce Loneliness →

Products that need caution

St John's wort used without asking about your medicines

High certainty

Why: The NCCIH says it has been clearly shown that St John's wort can interact in dangerous, sometimes life-threatening ways with a variety of medicines, including some antidepressants, birth control pills, blood thinners and certain medicines taken after transplants. It may be unsafe in pregnancy, and breastfed infants of mothers taking it can have colic, drowsiness and lethargy.

Who it applies to: Anyone taking any medicine, and anyone who is pregnant or breastfeeding.

Try instead: Ask a pharmacist or doctor before starting it, and do not use it as a substitute for care if your mood is low for two weeks or more.

²⁰

St. John's wort → Medication interactions →

Unsupported claims

"Everyone goes through the five stages of grief in order"

Moderate certainty

Why: The NHS notes that people often talk about grief in stages but may not experience all of them, may not go in order, and may not move smoothly between them. A 2017 review argues that stage theory lacks sound empirical evidence and that expecting to pass through stages can be harmful to people who do not.

Who it applies to: Anyone who has heard that they are "stuck" at a stage.

Try instead: Treat the stage names as descriptions of feelings some people have, not a route you must follow.

^1,25

"If you are coping well you must be in denial"

Moderate certainty

Why: A review of loss research concludes that resilience, with only minor and temporary disruption, is more common than is often believed and is a distinct pattern from recovery after a period of heavy distress.

Who it applies to: People who feel less upset than others expect and feel guilty about it.

Try instead: Accept your own way of grieving. If the feelings are very different from your expectations or change suddenly, talk to someone you trust.

¹⁰

Common mistakes

Waiting a long time with low mood before getting help

Moderate certainty

Why: The NHS says a low mood that lasts 2 weeks or more could be a sign of depression, and to see a GP if you have had a low mood for more than 2 weeks, if you are struggling to cope, or if what you are trying is not helping. For prolonged grief the NHS says to see a GP if symptoms do not ease with time.

Who it applies to: Anyone who thinks they should be able to manage alone.

Try instead: Book an appointment or, if you are 18 or over (16 or over in some areas) and in England, refer yourself to an NHS talking therapies service.

^1,3

Therapy for anxiety and stress → Anxiety disorders →

Adding a herb or supplement and changing prescribed medicine on your own

High certainty

Why: The NCCIH advises telling your health care providers about any complementary health approach you use, and says this is especially crucial for St John's wort because it interacts with so many medicines, in ways that can weaken life-saving medicines.

Who it applies to: People already taking prescribed medicines.

Try instead: Speak to the prescriber or a pharmacist before any change; never stop a prescribed medicine without their advice.

²⁰

Medication interactions →

Forcing yourself to write or talk it through when it makes you feel worse

Low certainty

Why: In a randomised trial of recent marital separation, expressive writing led to worse emotional outcomes than neutral writing in people already searching for meaning about the separation.

Who it applies to: People who have been told they must "process" things in a particular way.

Try instead: Choose what helps you, go at your own pace, and pause an approach that is leaving you more distressed.

¹⁹

Evidence & safety

What the research shows

Health services agree that talking about feelings, keeping to a routine, regular movement and regular meals, staying connected and avoiding alcohol and drugs are sensible first steps for grief and difficult change, though most of this is general guidance rather than proven treatment for adjustment. Research on professional help is clearer: a 2026 systematic review of 169 trials found moderate-strength evidence that individual psychotherapy improves grief disorder, grief and depression symptoms, and low-strength evidence for expert-facilitated groups. Most other approaches, including peer support, writing, music and art, show conflicting or insufficient evidence. St John's wort has trial evidence for mild to moderate depression but not for normal grief, and it carries serious interaction risks.

Limits of the evidence

Many bereavement trials have a substantial risk of bias, and research has focused on adults and on people with prolonged grief, not on everyday adjustment to a move or job change.
Prevalence estimates for prolonged grief come from studies that differ in design, so figures like one in ten are approximate.
Evidence for exercise and behavioural activation comes mainly from people with depression, not people adjusting to a change.
The dual process model and the idea of resilience trajectories are research frameworks, not treatments.
The NHS Every Mind Matters life changes page covers common situations but does not provide trial evidence.

Precautions and interactions

Herbs and supplements can interact with medicines; check with a pharmacist or doctor, especially with St John's wort.
Do not stop or change a prescribed medicine on your own.
Natural does not mean safe.
Grief does not need to be treated as an illness, but persistent low mood or grief that is not easing needs assessment.

Life-stage considerations

Pregnancy and breastfeeding: the NCCIH says St John's wort may be unsafe in pregnancy and may cause colic, drowsiness and lethargy in breastfed infants. The NHS Every Mind Matters site notes that anxiety and depression can occur during and after pregnancy, and that pregnancy loss can be devastating; speak to a midwife, doctor or health visitor.
Older adults: retirement, loss of status, reduced independence or a move into care can affect mood, and the NHS says depression is not simply part of getting older. Older people are more likely to take several medicines, so ask a pharmacist before any herb.
Children and teenagers: this page is written for adults. The NHS directs under-18s to mental health support for children and young people; talk to a GP, school or a family doctor.
People with chronic conditions or on regular medicines: ask a clinician before adding a supplement.

Warning signs

Low mood lasting two weeks or more, loss of enjoyment, hopelessness or trouble concentrating.
Grief after a death that is not easing over many months, or a traumatic or sudden loss with intense distress.
Panic, intrusive memories, or avoidance that is shrinking your life.
Thoughts of self-harm or suicide: seek help immediately.

Claim checks

Grief has five stages that everyone passes through

Moderate certainty

The NHS says people may not experience all the stages, they may not occur in order, and you may not move smoothly between them. A 2017 review argues that stage theory lacks sound empirical support and can be harmful to people who do not follow it. Treat it as a description of feelings, not a route.

^1,25

You have to "work through" grief by constantly facing it

Low certainty

The dual process model proposes that healthy coping includes both facing the loss and taking respite from it, and criticises the older idea that confronting grief all the time is necessary. It is a framework supported by research but not a tested treatment.

¹²

Strong people do not need professional help

Moderate certainty

The NHS says to see a GP for low mood over two weeks, struggling to cope, or prolonged grief, and a 2026 review found that individual psychotherapy helps bereaved people with grief, depression and grief disorder. Asking for help is a sensible step, not a sign of weakness. For urgent help the NHS lists 111 and Samaritans on 116 123, and the NIMH names the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

^1,3,15,26,27

St John's wort is a harmless natural cure for low mood

Moderate certainty

The NCCIH says it appears more effective than placebo and as effective as standard antidepressants for mild or moderate depression, but also that it interacts with many medicines in dangerous, sometimes life-threatening ways, and depression can be serious. It is neither harmless nor a cure for grief.

^20,21

Writing it all down always helps

Mixed findings

A 146-study meta-analysis found only a small average benefit, and one randomised trial in recently separated adults found worse outcomes for expressive writing in people searching for meaning. Results are mixed.

^18,19

Time alone heals everything

Moderate certainty

For most people, feelings do become less intense over time, but the NHS says that for some people grief after a death lasts many months or years, and that this needs a GP assessment. Time helps most people; it does not help everyone without support.

^1,7

Questions people ask

How long does it take to feel better after a big life change?

There is no fixed time. The NHS says grief feelings eventually become less intense, and research shows a wide range of paths: some people show only minor, temporary disruption, others take longer. If low mood lasts two weeks or more, or grief is not easing after many months, speak to a doctor.

Is it normal to grieve something other than a death?

Yes. The NHS says grief can follow the end of a relationship, losing a job, moving to a new place, or someone close becoming seriously ill.

Do I have to go through the stages of grief?

No. The NHS says you may not experience all the stages, they may not happen in order, and you may not move smoothly between them. A 2017 review argues the stage idea lacks empirical support and can harm people who do not fit it.

Is it wrong to take a break from grieving?

No. The dual process model describes healthy coping as moving back and forth between facing the loss and attending to everyday life, including taking time off from grief.

When does grief become prolonged grief disorder?

The NHS describes it as grief after a death that lasts many months or years and does not get easier, with signs such as constant thoughts of the person, difficulty accepting the death and not being able to return to everyday activities. It is more likely after traumatic or unexpected deaths. A GP can assess this. One meta-analysis estimated about one in ten bereaved adults, though the studies varied.

What if I feel nothing, or feel relief?

Numbness is a recognised early reaction according to the NHS, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Research on resilience shows some people cope with only minor, short-lived disruption. If your feelings worry you, talk to someone you trust or a counsellor.

Does exercise really help?

The NHS says regular exercise can improve your mood and may help you sleep better. A Cochrane review found exercise may reduce symptoms in people with depression, but the evidence was low-certainty and these were not trials of grief.

Can I take St John's wort for low mood after a loss?

Talk to a pharmacist or doctor first. The NCCIH says it can interact in dangerous ways with many medicines and may be unsafe in pregnancy. Trials were in people with depression, not normal grief, and low mood lasting two weeks or more should be assessed by a doctor.

Will writing about it help?

It may help some people, but the evidence is mixed. A large meta-analysis found a small average benefit, while a trial in recently separated adults found worse outcomes for expressive writing in people searching for meaning. Go at your own pace and stop if it makes things worse.

How do I get professional help?

See a GP, especially if low mood has lasted more than two weeks or you are struggling to cope. In England, adults can refer themselves to NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression. Bereavement charities such as Cruse also support people after a death.

What should I do if I am having thoughts of harming myself?

Get help now. In the UK, call 111 and select the mental health option, call Samaritans on 116 123, or call 999 or go to A&E if your life or someone else's is at risk. In the US, call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if life is at risk. If you are outside these countries, contact your local emergency number.

References

NHS. Grief after bereavement or loss (page last reviewed 14 July 2026). Read 2026-10-31. source
NHS Every Mind Matters. Life changes. Read 2026-10-31. source
NHS. Low mood, sadness and depression (page last reviewed 29 July 2026). Read 2026-10-31. source
NHS Every Mind Matters. Dealing with life's challenges. Read 2026-10-31. source
Stroebe M, Schut H, Stroebe W. Health outcomes of bereavement. Lancet. 2007. PMID 18068517. source
Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Layton JB. Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS Med. 2010. PMID 20668659. source
Lundorff M, et al. Prevalence of prolonged grief disorder in adult bereavement: a systematic review and meta-analysis. J Affect Disord. 2017. PMID 28167398. source
Szuhany KL, Malgaroli M, Miron CD, Simon NM. Prolonged grief disorder: course, diagnosis, assessment, and treatment. Focus (Am Psychiatr Publ). 2021. PMID 34690579. source
Morgan MA, Kelber MS, et al. Outcomes and prognosis of adjustment disorder in adults: a systematic review. J Psychiatr Res. 2022. PMID 36347110. source
Bonanno GA. Loss, trauma, and human resilience: have we underestimated the human capacity to thrive after extremely aversive events? Am Psychol. 2004. PMID 14736317. source
NHS Every Mind Matters. Bereavement and traumatic events. Read 2026-10-31. source
Stroebe M, Schut H. The dual process model of coping with bereavement: rationale and description. Death Stud. 1999. PMID 10848151. source
Cuijpers P, Ciharova M, et al. Behavioral activation for depression: a comprehensive systematic review and meta-analysis. Clin Psychol Rev. 2026. PMID 42492146. source
Clegg AJ, Hill JE, Mullin DS, et al. Exercise for depression. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2026. PMID 41500513. source
Ahluwalia S, Bandini J, et al. Care of bereaved persons: a systematic review. Ann Intern Med. 2026. PMID 41628451. source
Goyal M, Singh S, Sibinga EM, et al. Meditation programs for psychological stress and well-being: a systematic review and meta-analysis. JAMA Intern Med. 2014. PMID 24395196. source
Yao D, Qian F, et al. The effectiveness of web-based grief intervention for adults who lost a loved one: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Palliat Care. 2025. PMID 40057748. source
Frattaroli J. Experimental disclosure and its moderators: a meta-analysis. Psychol Bull. 2006. PMID 17073523. source
Sbarra DA, Boals A, et al. Expressive writing can impede emotional recovery following marital separation. Clin Psychol Sci. 2013. PMID 25606351. source
NCCIH. St. John's Wort: Usefulness and Safety (last updated May 2025). Read 2026-10-31. source
Linde K, Berner MM, Kriston L. St John's wort for major depression. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2008. PMID 18843608. source
Johannsen M, et al. Psychological interventions for grief in adults: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. J Affect Disord. 2019. PMID 31029856. source
Shear K, Frank E, et al. Treatment of complicated grief: a randomized controlled trial. JAMA. 2005. PMID 15928281. source
Cowansage KP, Milligan T, et al. Treatments for adjustment disorder: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials. Psychiatry Res. 2025. PMID 41005147. source
Stroebe M, Schut H, Boerner K. Cautioning health-care professionals: bereaved persons are misguided through the stages of grief. Omega (Westport). 2017;74(4). PMID 28355991. source
NHS. Where to get urgent help for mental health (page last reviewed 26 April 2023). Read 2026-10-31. source
NIMH. Help for Mental Illnesses (find help; 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) (last reviewed April 2026). Read 2026-10-31. source

About Cope With Difficult Life Changes

What this goal means

What it can feel like

What shapes how hard it feels

Grief, adjustment difficulties and depression

Realistic expectations

Who this applies to

Related conditions and symptoms

A manageable starting plan

Your first actions

Optional additions

What to track

When to reassess

When to seek professional support

What helps

Start here

Talk about it with someone you trust

Move between facing the change and taking a break from it

Set small targets and keep a simple routine

Move your body most days

Additional options

Peer support or a support group

Mindfulness and meditation

Guided online grief programmes

Still being studied

Writing about the change (expressive writing or journaling)

Music, art and other creative therapies for loss

Food & nutrition

Regular meals and steady energy

Alcohol and other substances

No food or supplement treats grief

Remedies & supplements

St John's wort

Therapies & care

Talking with a counsellor or therapist about the loss

Grief-focused treatment for prolonged grief

Cognitive behavioural therapy for adjustment difficulties and low mood

Expert-led bereavement support groups

What to avoid

Risks that apply to most people

Measuring yourself against a timetable

Trying to do everything at once

Personal triggers to check

Using alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to numb the pain

Withdrawing from people

Products that need caution

St John's wort used without asking about your medicines

Unsupported claims

"Everyone goes through the five stages of grief in order"

"If you are coping well you must be in denial"

Common mistakes

Waiting a long time with low mood before getting help

Adding a herb or supplement and changing prescribed medicine on your own

Forcing yourself to write or talk it through when it makes you feel worse

Evidence & safety

What the research shows

Limits of the evidence

Precautions and interactions

Life-stage considerations

Warning signs

Claim checks

Grief has five stages that everyone passes through

You have to "work through" grief by constantly facing it

Strong people do not need professional help

St John's wort is a harmless natural cure for low mood

Writing it all down always helps

Time alone heals everything

Questions people ask

References

Related on AlternativeMed

Related goals

Ingredients, foods and supplements

Research, safety and claim-check resources